Today Marks ALWAYS

{2008}

Today marks the day when always becomes real for Hannah. She turns twelve and this will be the year when she will be with us longer than she lived without us. Before coming home to our family she learned to compartmentalize and it was a little rough learning that a forever mom and dad were always there. Always.

Always is a big word to understand when your first years of existence teach you that the only expected thing in life is nothing can be always. Houses change. People are in constant flux. Food isn't a certainty.

It takes time to understand always.

Sometimes you may act indifferent.

Sometimes you may be aloof.

Sometimes you may simply lean into a hug.

Then there comes a time when things change. Living it day in and day out, it's hard to pinpoint the exact moment. It's hard to know the day when she realized the truth. It happened, though.

We know because Mom and Dad roll off of her tongue like they've always been part of her language. These words are commonplace, no longer spoken with awe and reverence.

We know because she runs to the door when we get home and hugs us real -- tight with arms.

We know because she has favorites -- a favorite color and a favorite food and a favorite ice cream flavor. She doesn't just want whatever and she doesn't copy my favorites any more.

This year always becomes real. She will live with us longer than without us. When you make it this far, then you know always is possible.

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