{spring}
sun and melting snow
bright green buds on bony limbs
blue sky holds the chill
I've noticed quite a few haiku around the slice community this month. I've been wanting to write my own. All month long I've been stumbling over syllables, attempting to shove images into the required rhythm. Not to mention trying to be inspired by nature to give a traditional lean to the haiku I pretended I could write. Many slices this month have started with the promise of a haiku that soon fizzled and was replaced with my comfortable prose.
But not tonight.
Tonight I finally wrote a haiku I'm proud to have written. I told myself when I finally did write one, I wouldn't post anything else...only the 17 syllables. However, I couldn't do it...I wanted to capture my process, to remember how I tried and tried, and then with only a handful of days left in the month, this little haiku just spilled out.
I think it was even more fun because of all the failed attempts at haiku this month. Failure make success just a little sweeter.
 |
| Join us at Two Writing Teachers for the March Slice of Life Challenge. |
Love the "bony limbs". The struggle does make it sweeter when the results rock.
ReplyDeleteclear eyes and few words
ReplyDeletegrabbing on to spring's spirit
so glad you wrote this
I just read it to Andy (who is a master at rhythm...constantly changing song lyrics to make the kids (and me) laugh).
ReplyDeleteNaturally he had to "write" one as "proof" it's not hard. (It's a good thing I like his eyes...this way I don't throw something at him from across the room.)
Pacers score again
Houston, we have a problem
Another road win.
Yeah...he's funny alright.
Who would guess that melting snow and bright green buds would be together in nature? Thanks for including your tale of struggle. Good to know you struggle too because your words are always just perfect when I read them.
ReplyDeleteI really loved this haiku...short but sweet. I loved how the "blue sky holds the chill." That's exactly how it feels like to me right now.
ReplyDeleteI love haiku and so did all my students. Your haiku has beautifully captured the peek-a-boo spring we're having this year. Yes, "bony limbs" is my favorite group of words, too.
ReplyDeleteI love how you play with words. You inspire me to try. I have written more poetry this time, including tonight (inspired by your post). Glad Andy decided to contribute too.
ReplyDeleteHooray! YOU DID IT!!! I especially love the line, "bright green buds on bony limbs." Awesome personification and alliteration. I love the imagery as well!
ReplyDeleteLovely haiku, but I appreciate your thoughts and reflections afterward more. I think we all set high expectations for ourselves and just like kids, we don't like to fail. However, in the process of writing (and really, life), we need to be reminded that we struggle, that it's not always easy, that we can't do it right the first time. Your words are always inspiring.
ReplyDeleteAnxiously awaiting "bright green buds!" It is indeed satisfying to achieve something that we've been struggling with. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you. Haiku is hard and people who say it isn't are big fat liars! I love the bright green buds on bony limbs. Perfect!
ReplyDeleteP.S. Andy's haiku really is funny!
so many give gomments for haiku that seem to contradict each other. I'll never know what's best, Ruth, but I 'like' yours, especially those "bony limbs."
ReplyDeleteLovely work! When I attempt to write these (and when I'm teaching my kids), I try to focus on making (directly or indirectly) a clear link between image and emotion, while also focusing on sound. You have great soundplay here (your b's, for example, and the 'i' sound in "bonY lImbs"), concrete imagery with clear emotional resonance, and some sweet personification in your last line. Awesome haiku! :)
ReplyDeleteFailure does make success a little sweeter, but I can't help but wonder if possibly you never really failed. You just kept inching closing to your goal. Failure is when we stop and you never stopped. Thanks for sharing your haiku --- and your process.
ReplyDeleteCathy