Lately I've been feeling vulnerable. I drop the ball, the unexpected happens, I'm too tired to do one more thing, and life just keeps going as is. The old habits begin to creep up. I feel like I can't do anything well. I feel like I'll never get things right. I feel like no matter how hard I try, I'm not good enough. It's a lie that I can believe or ignore.
And then I remind myself that I am a recovering perfectionist.
That means I've accepted I don't have to be perfect.
There can be a stack of important school papers on the counter and it's okay.
The laundry can be stacked outside of bedroom doors for one night and the world will still spin.
The blanket pile of legoes can stay on the dining room floor and life will still go on.
It means I believe that life is too short to worry about not being good enough.
I've wasted enough energy on worrying about this. I'm not going to waste more. It stops now.
I am enough. Just the way I am.
I hope you believe it for yourself too.
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Still working on it! But it seems to be easier as I get older (maybe I'm just too tired to be such a perfectionist?). :)
ReplyDeleteRuth, you nailed it. I am a perfectionist as well. Thank you for the reminder that I can let go of some things.
ReplyDeleteI was a recovering perfectionist too but after having my girls, priorities in life drastically changed. And I'm okay with it. Thank you for capturing this personal fight.
ReplyDeleteYou are more than enough. It is more than ok to have laundry outside the door, legos on the floor... it is expected. It is good. It is perfect.
ReplyDeleteLove the lines "I am enough. Just the way I am." I think most of us need that sign to sit on our desk, stick to our refrigerator and tape to the mirror!
ReplyDeleteNever had to recover from that...last born...pretty laid back. Laundry can stay on my floor for DAYS. But I can't let anyone know...oops
ReplyDeleteTammy
You are definitely enough! I am constantly amazed at all you accomplish in a given day. You are perfectly allowed to not have everything perfect.
ReplyDelete"I feel like no matter how hard I try, I'm not good enough. It's a lie that I can believe or ignore."
ReplyDeletePowerful words. I love your term "recovering perfectionist." It is the perfect descriptor.
In case the voice in your head is not quite loud enough yet, in case your heart of hearts can't be heard through all that life going on around you at the moment: even in your worst moment of your worst day you are MORE than enough.
I hope you will read Amelia's post for today
ReplyDeletehttp://wakeupandwrite.wordpress.com/2012/03/27/doing-the-math/
Her math really adds up :)
"And then I remind myself that I am a recovering perfectionist." Love that.
ReplyDelete"I am enough. Just the way I am." High five. You go girl.
"I hope you believe it for yourself too" Thank you. Need that little kick in the butt reminder tonight.
I enjoyed this dialogue Dana. What a fun, creative way to express the dialogue that happens between slicer and reader.
DeleteSo right there with you! I was thinking today about the ginormous job you and Stacey have taken on in organizing Slice of Life. Maybe next year some of us need to figure out how we can help a little!
ReplyDeleteJuliann is so right-Amelia's math gave me new ways to look at it all, and now yours Ruth. I too like that 'recovering perfectionist'. Sounds like a good book title to me. You are always inspiring, Ruth.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post to really capture something so vital in life. I appreciate your eloquent reminder that we are all enough.
ReplyDeleteRuth how is it we were on the same path today? And "luckygirl" at Writing Me Home wrote about perfection too. I don't struggle with being perfect but I certainly struggle with being "more than enough."
ReplyDeleteYou ARE enough. The absolute truth. Keep on that path of recovery!
ReplyDeleteIt's all about perspective. When we put all those little things into perspective, we realize they are not that important and we are enough. Thanks for reminding us.
ReplyDeleteThis is powerful. I think I need to find a rock that says "enough", because I need to believe this as well.
ReplyDeleteGreat post! And if that laundry pile ever gets you down, call me. I can relate!
ReplyDeleteGlad you remember that no one else is expecting you to be all and do all for all. You are more than enough, just as you are.