I'm glad you are here to celebrate!
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Summer ends this week. I scroll through my camera roll to see where it went. I search for a single image to capture this season, an image I can tug with words to see if it will lead me to understand why my favorite season felt a little nonexistent this year.
The memories are here in photos -- a rich summer of laughter and runs and made-from-scratch meals, family and friends and work and play, new adventures and old traditions -- the photos stack in rows, and I know summer existed.
I pause at one of the first pictures of the summer. I am writing, working on revisions, Andy snapped a picture without me knowing it. I looked up and he said, "It's just so you." I smiled; Andy never takes pictures.
Of all the pictures of summer, this is the one I choose to capture the season. Words don't usually line up the first time. They wander and stir and sometimes dance. In this book I tried to corral the words, but it didn't work. Just like storylines, words don't want to be contained. They want to run free.
And I let them.
Then I took the parts and chopped them up, moving them, and mashing them together again. I wrote the third section, and I thought it behaved.
It didn't.
I'm in another round of revisions.
It might not be right when I'm finished.
I'm moving forward anyway.
This is the season I'm in. It is not behaving; not following the rules. Summer knows it is for lazy days and long books. Summer knows it is for picnics and naps. Summer knows it is for un-schedules and following whims.
Summer changed the rules. Now it's ending and I feel like I'm just catching on to the way this season's storyline is going. I'm in deep revisions, trying to make sense of the way things are running wild and unabashed, while at the same time organize and mash them together into this one little life.
Mostly, I'm learning that I have a limited amount of time, energy, and capacity. This new season of living is demanding. It is highly scheduled. The kids no longer go to bed early. And they need me for much more than a bandaid, a hug, and a sippy cup of milk.
Just like I'm revising my book again, I'm revising the way I live again. I can either wallow and allow the frustration of finding my footing again to cast a dark shadow over this season, or I can choose to celebrate.
It is through revision that the story begins to glimmer. As much as I wish my book were complete and you could hold it in your hands right now, I'm thankful I'm revising. It's not ready, yet. And as much as I wish I didn't drop the ball, as much as I wish I didn't disappoint people, as much as I wish I could get this parenting-gig right, I'm thankful I have a chance to revise and shift the way I live.
This is what I celebrate: Getting to adapt to each season in order to live the best life possible.
Thanks for hanging in there with me and sharing your celebrations.
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ReplyDeleteOne of the earliest quotes that I have on one of those little blocks that one can buy is "All who wander are not lost." It helps me know that life can be changeable, and that's okay. Just as you write, revising is okay too! At the beginning of summer, it yawns before us with those thoughts of lazy days. I'm sure it must have happened somewhere in my younger days, but I don't remember it happening lately! Keep revising, Ruth! And thanks for the celebration of what you "know".
ReplyDeleteI was just having this conversation about summer with a friend who has children in middle school , Ruth,and I was reminiscing about the summer years with my, own now grown-up kids. They do need you in more complex and exhausting ways in those years, even in summer. That's where shifting, revising, and hanging in there come in. We are hanging in with you, too, especially these Celebration days, when you give us a place to share together. PS. Love that picture - revising is hard work!
ReplyDeleteRuth, I love this part of your post: Words don't usually line up the first time. They wander and stir and sometimes dance. In this book I tried to corral the words, but it didn't work. Just like storylines, words don't want to be contained. They want to run free. I'm thinking that perhaps this is a metaphor of life. We are always revising, changing, shifting, and moving on to what's next. I'm inspired by your work and I can't wait for the finished product! ~Amy
ReplyDeleteOh how I love these words! All of them! Especially, "It is through revision that the story begins to glimmer." YES! I look at the transition of summer to school as a time to revise. Thank you for this! So grateful to celebrate here with you and this community!
ReplyDeleteLove this celebration: " Getting to adapt to each season in order to live the best life possible." Isn't that what all of us are doing in all the different seasons of our lives? I'm still trying to figure out retirement (after two years), and get to all the projects I wanted to finish this summer. So happy to hear from you. I'm hanging onto these words: " It is through revision that the story begins to glimmer." I'm also thankful that we "...have a chance to revise and shift..." Blessings as you begin a new school year!
ReplyDeleteBlessings on your revisions and as we transition into the new season. I continue to be thankful for your work and words.
ReplyDeleteNeeded this..." Getting to adapt to each season in order to live the best life possible."
ReplyDeleteAnnie is heading to university. She was going to live at home but is going to rent a room and live in a house with teammates. It's wonderful for her ... and for me, too fast! A week ago, I still thought I would see her every day! :0)
Love this line about life and about writing: "It is through revision that the story begins to glimmer."
ReplyDeleteI have been revising a story for a long time and I don't know if I'll ever feel it's ready. But I see glimmers. Thanks for hosting this place to celebrate those glimmers!
When I read your words it is like having a cup of coffee. A moment to pause, linger just a bit to take it all in, a comforting reflective ritual before moving on. As with a good cup of coffee, I am renewed and appreciative. Though your story is unique, your thoughts and observations touch something so universal in the human experience.
ReplyDeleteYou have a rich and growing life. And this post shows all the richness of it. I love your realizations and your desires. You will get there and will do it as you value and cherish what matters.
ReplyDeleteRuth, there is truth in your statement for all of us: "Just like I'm revising my book again, I'm revising the way I live again." Summer is a time to let go if we need to or hang in when it is called for. There are no rules as you say so we live life to the fullest within our means.
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