a glimpse

This defines me.

A few weeks ago someone emailed me a link to a blog. The note said, 

Here's a blog I read and it makes me think of you. Check it out.

I often fall behind on email. As much as this frustrates me about myself, I've come to accept email as the thing that falls off the plate. Thankfully my friends and family are understanding and forgive me for this. The link to the blog remains in my inbox for weeks, still waiting for me to check it out.

On Sunday my friend Rena stopped me outside the nursery at church. "I'm so glad to run into you," she said. "There's this blog I've been reading and I love it. Every time I read it it reminds me of your writing and your life. You should check it out."

You know where this is going, right? It was the same blog that had been waiting on me in my inbox. Now I was curious. A blog that reminds people of me? The first person to mention it to me is a new friend. She is the mother of my daughter's best friend. Although we've known of each other for years, we have only had a handful of conversations. Rena is a close friend of mine. She knows me well. I'm curious what makes them think of me.

Finally, finally after too long I go to the blog that has been waiting for me. I listen. I read. My heart aches. I pray.I read more. My heart smiles. I catch a glimpse of how other people see me.

And I'm humbled. Check it out to see why.

My faith defines me. But sometimes I wonder if I live it for-real out here. You know, outside of the walls of my heart. My life is messy -- a beautiful mess -- but messy and chaotic and I drop the ball (especially with email) and I forget things and I mess up and I'm always reminding myself that I'm enough, because sometimes, lotstimes, I just don't feel like I am. Then my friends give me this gift of a glimpse into who they see. And I think maybe, just maybe, sometimes I'm able to get out of the way long enough for the world to see Jesus shining out from my heart.